I've realized that I for about 16 years have had a resentful attitude towards the US. I kept telling myself that it was an uninteresting place that I didn't really want to travel to. And it's not really fair because it's not this country's fault that I resented it ...
When I was 15 I desperately wanted to be a high school exchange student in the states but my mom said no because she would rather spend the money on a pool that the whole family could enjoy. I was heart broken but understood my mother's reasoning so I sucked it up. Putting away a deeply felt wish involved telling myself that the grapes where probably sour anyway. A couple of years later I went to England without any cost to my parents.
At my age it is easy to laugh at teenagers when they act like every setback is the end of the world; there will be lots of setbacks during a life time and you can get used to disappointment. Only thing is: some things stick ...
Damn it. I don't want to leave. And it's a hurt teenager on the inside that has been during cartwheels for a month now that is saying it. She got her wish. It feels GREAT!
Heh. I've always felt things deeply and loved fiercely, but this surprised me. I had honestly forgotten that it mattered so much to me that I didn't get to go.
Anyway, I am leaving. I am going to a country my grownup self has wanted to go to for 10 years and my teen just has to stay quiet until the Japan trip is over. I will immerse myself in the japanese culture, be an appreciative observer of the people, enjoy the differences and make a fool of myself with the language. And when I return to Denmark in november I'll sit down with my teen and apply for an extended stay in the states (because that's what grownups do).
4 comments:
Awww. You makin' me cryyyyy!!! Og det er stadig tidligt her goddamnit!
:)
Nu har jeg jo byttet om paa det! Nu er jeg foran istedet for bagefter ^^
Hvor meget er du foran os?
7 timer。
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